A Song Evaluation of: The Star-Spangled Banner

In becoming more aware of great songwriting I would like give my evaluation of this great song of victorious hope we’ve sung by memory all our lives:

O SAY [this line is saying Hello? Can I have your attention?]

CAN YOU SEE     [can you identify the same thing I see? Even though you’re not really there.  Can you picture it with me?]

BY THE DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT    [this is possessive noun that shows ownership by adding an apostrophe, an “s”.  It’s interesting that the end of the story is already being told to us.  This makes us want to know more of what happened before this]

WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HAILED    [When we hail something we: cheer, salute, acclaim; approve enthusiastically.  Francis Scott key who witnessed from a ship in the harbor as the British fired upon a Baltimore fort was proud to still see the flag flying by the light of explosions of the cannon balls.  I can hear the cheers as if a crowd was watching a firework show]

AT THE TWILIGHT'S LAST GLEAMING?    [again with a possessive noun telling us it was dark hours before this.  I looked up the word gleaming: to shine with or as if with subdued steady light or moderate brightness. 2 : to appear briefly or faintly a light gleamed in the distance.  This boy did his homework!  In completing the question we have identified when it took place, that there are other people there and what they were feeling at the time] 

WHOSE BROAD STRIPES AND BRIGHT STARS         [this line a matter for those advanced songwriters out there.  It’s a double alliteration which means: a repetition of letters and sounds in this case the two B’s and the two S’s.  We are now told what it was they so proudly hailed last night.  Describing the stripes as broad has the underlying meaning of strength bright gives stars a meaning of clarity, shining, a bright future]

THROUGH THE PERILOUS FIGHT   [the outcome of this battle is yet to be decided.  The people who were defending the fort must’ve had a terrible night with much death]

O'ER THE RAMPARTS WE WATCHED,  [this is interesting.  I always thought ramparts was the railings of a ship.  A rampart is a wall that is built to protect a fort.  So they were watching what was happening on the inside of the fort.  Huh who would of known?]

WERE SO GALLANTLY STREAMING [identifying that the flag was still blowing in the wind.  Now a flag itself cannot be gallant but the soldiers protecting that flag were the brave ones]

AND THE ROCKET'S RED GLARE, THE BOMBS BURSTING IN AIR   [Now we’re taken back into the past again and we’re given another gift of a double alliteration.  Amazing!  ps.  I guess they already had rockets back then instead of the cannons]

GAVE PROOF THROUGH THE NIGHT THAT OUR FLAG WAS STILL THERE    [this is the payoff line or the satisfying conclusion usually found at the end of the chorus.   It provides the emotional punch, or surprise, and adds impact to the lines that precedes it.  It is the line that ties the whole song together like a bow.

O SAY  [again with Hello? Can I have your attention?]

DOES THAT STAR-SPANGLED BANNER YET WAVE   [ the writer is asking you in the present time you are in:  Is it still there?  Spangled what an interesting word besides using another alliteration it tells us it’s glistening, gleaming, shining. Something to admire like a diamond clear and strong.  I’m glad the writer didn’t use the redundant word FLAG but renamed it banner which is a cloth that carries a message and design that is hung in a public place. 

O'ER THE LAND OF THE FREE AND THE HOME OF THE BRAVE    What land is this?  The one we’re standing on.  We are tied to the land.  Land is important to our identity.  It provides all of our needs, gives us a home and supports our family, brings us security.  The writer here tells us that this is the place that is free of the monarchy when he wrote it, but also for all future citizens.  Using the word BRAVE identifies with the people in the fort as well as future citizens.  The word also says, hey, don’t mess with us.  We’ll stand up for our freedom here.  It’s important to us.  This is the huge grand final payoff of the song.  Musically FREE is held a long time.  Then HOME is held out while OF THE are accented 16th notes to drive it home to a held BRAVE.

ps. I understand that currently in 2020 there are folks that want to replace the national anthem  with John Lennon’s song for peace, ‘Imagine.  Well that’s another can of worms to leave unopened.  In this day and age it’s against political correctness to say you should stand proudly to salute a flag that so many have died for while singing this song.  Whoops, now the worms are out of that can!  I have written a couple of anthems about the flag myself:  Have a listen here:

 

https://youtu.be/yY6F0F45yKA FABRIC OF AMERICA

https://youtu.be/Tzaz-iRV0yY             I’LL STAND UP FOR YOU

Other Websites for John Bennett:

https://www.reverbnation.com/507197

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLB8kZ_1SeK4wsNtEoYwlEzCbGVt0XA6ny

https://soundcloud.com/storehousepro

https://www.facebook.com/storehousepro/

A NASHVILLE CRITIQUE OF THE SONG: AMAZING GRACE

    John Newton made a great effort here with his song Amazing Grace, but in today’s world it feels a little dated and familiar sounding.  You start out with the title in the first line which would serve better in the chorus.  "How sweet the sound"?  Can you really taste a sound? But interesting choice of words.  Your next line "saved a wretch like me"  probably would not be cut in Nashville.  What artists would want to call themselves a wretch?  Your phrasing is marked with cliché one-liners that weaken the overall impact and make this song too similar to many other songs on the market. Your song has a favorable lyrical topic that, for the most part, is well presented. You might want to reword the second line of your chorus and your third verse to give it a fresher, less cliché sound. Your song has a distinct emotional draw that is well represented by your lyrics. The verses' sarcasm sets the stage for a dark dialogue about betrayal and love gone astray. 

Your musical composition has a strong haunting melody but felt a bit formulaic and lacking in any standout instrumental performance. The production should be suitable for a demo as it does show any publisher or recording artist the song's appeal. However, if this song is intended to represent your potential to become a recording artist, you will want to work more on the vocal mix and sound quality.  I would try to find someone else perhaps a studio vocalist to sing this song. A good demo in Nashville will usually cost around $1,000.  This song currently has fair potential to attract a buyer but also has much room for improvement.           

 Relatability - Song's ability to communicate a message that the audience cannot easily relate to.

 Visualization – Song's ability to convey a visual image of the story or message that the audience cannot easily imagine.

 Engagingness - Song's ability to engage the audience while holding their interest and attention throughout the entirety of the work is lacking.

FARMING FOR SONGS

Songwriting doesn’t come easily for me.  I am not an articulate person nor do I have a lot of wisdom to offer [I’ll get back to that later], but I am still able to finish 2 songs a month sometimes coming up with a gem.  I call my process farming for songs.  Over my 48 years as a songwriter I’ve amassed many scraps of wisdom in the form of sermon notes, napkins with ideas written on them, little awarenesses I’ve written down; all filed away in folders and categorized. Choosing from one of the hundreds of unwritten song titles I come up with, I will pull out the files that relate to that title.  From all of those notes I will fill up an empty page full of ideas.  Maybe I will get a first line or a chorus, but still there’s not enough yet.  This is where the hard work of research begins.   I will till the soil of many rich resources.  At the end of my Bible is an index which will lead to many verses to study for my song.  I will also go to the internet and fill up another page with ideas.  The Thesaurus is rich with language that has categories and cross-references that can lead you down a rich rabbit trail of language.  I will fill up another page with these and then I have lots of choices to choose from.  I will then begin assembling these words like a puzzle move them around so they fit and then a clearer picture begins to take shape.  I’ll look for sentences that rhyme together and if they don’t work I’ll go to a rhyming dictionary and list all the rhymes that fit.  Then the song begins to sprout out of this rich soil, but now comes the rewrites to trim dead leaves and add a little more nutrients to make it grow.  After about 4 rewrites now is the time to take my beautiful creation to play before my fellow songwriters at the monthly MACS meetings.  They will help me catch things I didn’t see before.  

So thankfully I have completed a song from the rich language that’s available to me, but there is one more resource I didn’t mention.  Earlier on I mentioned that I wasn’t an eloquent man, but there is a verse in Exodus 4:10 where Moses tells God the same thing.  God responds by saying this:  ‘…who hath made mans mouth…. I will be thy mouth and teach what thou shalt say.”   So to sum it up if we listen to that still small voice by getting out of the way, God just may give you the inspiration for your song.  Blessings to you all and keep writin’.  John Bennett 

What is a Successful Songwriter?

“Success as a Songwriter. To me success is still cranking out pretty good songs and learning more about songwriting even after 52 years of writing.

For 42 of those years I have been helping out fellow songwriters in many ways and founding 2 songwriter organizations in Minnesota. One songwriter in particular who won Songwriter of the year and a Grammy has credited me with getting him started.

Even though none of my songs have been ever been widely known or gained national attention, one or two have been recorded by local artist.  Whenever I perform in one of my rare concerts, people still tell me how much they’ve enjoyed those songs which to me is success.

Once a man told me that after hearing my song he did not go through with ending his life.  Do I feel successful.  Your darned right.  I want to keep writing songs that can make a difference in people’s lives.” –John Bennett

“My definition of a successful songwriter/musician is someone who is a prolific songwriter, lyricist, writer and musician that has made this world and the inhabitants of this world a more peaceful, loving, understanding, compassionate, sharing and forgiving lot, as a result of the songs created.

I’m uncertain as to how many, if any, individuals I have had this type of impact upon, though I’m certain I have not accomplished the level of success that I have defined.

This songwriter will continue to work on becoming ‘a success’ as long as I’m on the planet – ‘and live the songwriter in me, not just say I write songs’.” –WM Johnson

“Good question. I would define a successful songwriter as one who, with a voice and, with or without a single instrument, can stir the range of human emotions through a combination of their own lyrics and music.

Not with just one song but with their entire body of work, however large or small. With a variety of lyrical themes and styles of musical genre. Not simply rephrasing or re-stirring the same contents of their songwriting pot.

All of the above requires having attentive listeners, independent of the level of income provided the songwriter. If a songwriter can stir a range of human emotions in an audience through their voice, lyrics and music, to my ears they are successful songwriters. Thanks for asking!” –Mark Grim

“Songwriting success, for me, would be getting 1$ in song revenues. Or more, but 1$ would be OK. Because it would mean that somebody, somewhere, is professionally singing something of mine and somebody else, somewhere, chose to listen.

I want my songs to live, and for me, that means sung professionally and heard. By sung professionally, I mean not ‘just’ sung by my daughter even if she has a beautiful voice. I want my songs to live ‘out there’.” –Hélène Dion

Do we see a pattern here?

Exactly what Tunesmith Tips is about, helping take care of the craft side, so you can take care of the human side.

As songwriters we, no matter our level of experience, want to effect a response in others. We want to make our life count for something beyond our own.

Some people are content just plunking it down in front of the tube every night, looking for someone else to change their attitudes and outlooks for them.

And then there’s people like those you just heard from, and very likely yourself, who desire to be that someone to change others for the good.

It takes a special person to not only have the desire and energy to want that, but also ability to breathe in the world then exhale it in a way people can see things with more clarity, more power, and more hope.

If you are reading this, and are one of us, walk out your front door everyday knowing you are not the average person.

Introduce yourself as a songwriter, instead of yoru day job title. See how that makes you feel and the response you get.

The post Few of the responses from a recent question to you appeared first on Tunesmith Tips.

THE POWER OF WORDS

 

         As a songwriter and admirer of poetry I have listened and made a study of words since I was a teenager.  I poured over all the books of poetry in the library I could get my hands on.  Then began to actually listen to the lyrics of most of the popular songs of the day such as the Beatles and Dylan.  These songs had a great affect on me and spoke to my heart unlike anything I heard before.  Just a simple phrase held my affection and I would often sing along to the radio, just as I see my son doing now. I marveled at how well the words were strung together and seemed to flow in a cool way.  What made them cool? I wanted to know why, so I studied lyrics of every song I could get a hold of,  but it wasn’t until I became a Christian that  I  knew the true value of words.  Singing worship songs in church and praying lifted the meaning of words to a higher level.  I relized that words carried with them power.  I learned that in the beginning was the Word, and all creation began with a word, and Jesus is the Word, and the word was deposited in us when we became receivers of the Word.  Then I learned that words affect everyone around us and even the lack of words speaks volumes.  Words determine how far we go in life.  Words can even bring healing (Proverbs 12:18).  Isn’t it wonderful to apologize to someone and see the walls melt between you and old wounds being heald before your eyes?  Words carry power to defeat Satan.  The words you write in a song also carry power to touch and change hearts, not that we give them any power of our own, but power of God who created them and deposited them in us.  Also I think it’s important to not worship the words that  we hear,  like I did as a teenager, but to worship the one creater who gave them to us to use.   

         Now as receivers of the word,  I think our job is to turn around and reflect them to others around us.  So next time you are jotting down some lyrics remember:  there is power in those words.  Keep on writin’ JB>

COMPLETING THE VISION

Observations of a Songwriter

          I listened in disbelief to the car radio as Michael W. Smith’s new song “Above All” played.   “Not another one!” I thought.  That’s the same title I used on a song I’ve penned ten years ago.  Why do I hear the same titles or similar melodies of songs I’ve already written?  Was it so obvious a title that sooner or later someone would discover it?  Maybe I should start picking out titles that no one could ever come up with like, “The Whale Was Hungry, But He Couldn’t Keep a Good Man Down” or “My Life was Like a Gutter Ball Until you Pinned me Down”.  Well maybe not.   

As I listened intently to Michael’s’ song on the radio, I notice the quality of his writing.  It was far better than my song.  He really did put the work into it to make it excellent.  He set it up the same way I did with what God was above; the earth, the heavens, the ways of the world, etc.  But then Michael went the extra mile with a nice bridge and a twist at the end of his chorus “He loved me above all”.  This is the way I see this experience. I may be wrong or right but see what you think.   

God gives us the talent and the vision to accomplish something or write a song for Him, yet if we are not available or ready to put the work into that vision, God will find someone else to do it   If God wants a task done, it will get accomplished.  The question is will we be the one to give it our best to complete the vision, the goal God has instilled into us?  When God gives us a title or an idea are we going to put the work into it to make it something excellent, and then go the extra mile like Michael W. Smith did?  Let’s do all of what God intends us to do.  So what about that song of mine that has the same title?  I’ll probably still use it in the future.  The message is still there.

Welcome To MACS

Hey! Welcome to Minnesota Association of Christian Songwriters way up here in the cold north, and anyone else reading this. This is way cool, thanks to Rob B for setting this blog up for us. I wanted to be the first to get the ball rolling. I would like to write about my experiences as a songwriter who has been addicted to songwriting for 38 years now. In that time I have written over 300 songs [good and bad], produced 5 Cds of my music [now working on 2 more], began two songwriters' organizations [MAS in1980 & MACS in1990] which are still flourishing today, helped many songwriters with their own music, however as of yet I still have nothing published on a national scale. Now I am finally getting serious about trying to have my songs published. Hopefully these Blogs will be a benefit to all who read my observations about songwriting and the music business in general.  So enjoy and read on.

History of The Minnesota Songwriters Association

 History of The Minnesota Songwriters Association

Founded in 1979 by John Bennett The Minnesota Songwriters Association was born. In the following year between 1980 and 1984 we conducted Songwriter Showcases every month at the Extempore Coffeehouse near the West Bank of the U of M campus on Cedar Ave in Minneapolis. These were well run Songwriter Showcases on a stage complete with a M.C. for the evening. Many of the songwriters got their first performing experience there and credit MSA for encouraging them to perform their original songs live onstage. We had taped each performance on an old reel to reel tape recorder. These tapes have recently been discovered and transferred to digital CDs which will be on loan to anyone who wants to listen to them [but not for distribution.] I have also discovered the “Lost Unreleased MSA Album” with some of our finest songwriters back then which was professionally recorded in various studios around the cities. If anyone should know where any of these people are I’d appreciate if you could let them know about this announcement. Contact: John Bennett at promotions@macsmn.org

Here is a list of the artists and the unreleased MSA album:

MSA 1984 “LOST” ALBUM:

Vic Campbell Stallions

Jim Hall The Hawk Descends upon the City

Thea Ennen Wind Come

Larry Havluck Marcelle Arms

Lorenzo Latanzi Powerlines Across the Prairie

Brett Gadbois The Last time I Danced in Bismark

Dave Larson Have I Stopped Changing

Alfred Sage Driven

Barbara Hubbard Jenna

SONGWRITERS SHOWCASES 1980-84 AT THE EXTEMPORE COFFEEHOUSE

Jon Vezner Grammy and CMA winner best song of year

Kathy Peterson

Brett Gadbois

Patrice Kersting

Scott Stroot & Roger Nelson

Dan Bedrock

Jim Sherbert

Jim Bohen

Jeff Knutson

Mike Wisniewck

Warren King

Even Marshall

Jill Holly

Jorham Simms

Dan Koopmans

Tom Elliot

Mary Keally

Phyliss Goldman & Wanda Brown

John Bennett

Steve Boyce

Lisa Briones

Pete Ames

Jim Ralston

Vic Campell

Thea Ennen

Mathew Lamphere

Linda Heyne

Fawn